Business Ethics -- Ziniewicz -- Treadmill Gazette Chao International

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Circulation 2006 Wednesday, December 3, 2003 $8.50

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TREADMILL MAYOR INDICTED

The office of the Treadmill District Attorney has confirmed that charges have been filed against the Treadmill mayor for alleged campaign contribution fraud, including but not limited to accepting bribes and kickbacks from a prominent Treadmill industry. More details will follow.

TOYS YOU CAN TRUST
Safe-Tee Toys

"What's good for Chaos
is good for Treadmill."
-- Treadmill Mayor

CONCERNED CITIZENS TO MEET WITH CHAOS EXECS

Outraged consumers have called for a meeting with the Chaos vice-president and staff in charge of the newly acquired Safe-Tee Toys division of Chaos International. Apparently, toy buyers have flooded Chaos with numerous complaints about the safety and reliability of the newest toy line. Typical complaints refer to:

cheap plastics that splinter and stab
small lead toys with choking hazards
scooters with failing brakes

(concerned citizens continued)

toy trains that electrocute
remote-controlled cars with exploding batteries
video games that freeze up after the 30-day warranty period
bow-and-arrow playsets
plush toys stuffed with unknown "recycled" products
cribs from hell
trikes that collapse and tip
broken glass kitchen sets
flammable playsuits

The Gazette was unable to reach Chaos Customer Service for comment.